


blue and gold

by nweinberg



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Badass Katara (Avatar), F/M, Oblivious Zuko (Avatar), Partially Blind Zuko (Avatar), Partially Deaf Zuko (Avatar), Post-Canon, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:55:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nweinberg/pseuds/nweinberg
Summary: When the war is over, everything is good. Zuko has Mai, and Katara has Aang, just like they're supposed to... but what if where they're "supposed" to be isn't really what they want?(Starts mid book three and will go through the end and continue post-canon)
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka & Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. one

“What’s…. what’s happening to me?!”

The fire nation man’s hand had frozen in a position ready to attack. A look of terror crossed his face as his body began to twist and jerk unnaturally, accompanied by a horrifying squeezing sound.

What _was_ happening to him, Zuko questioned, taken aback. Then he saw Katara, in a bending stance, her hands held straight out in front of her. His eyes widened as he saw her glare. Katara’s normally kind face was twisted into an expression that could only be described as hatred. Zuko realized, with a shock, that Katara was doing this to the man. He didn’t know how, but she was controlling his movement. In that moment, he couldn’t help but be reminded of one of their first conversations as newly made allies.

_“You might have everyone else buying your ‘transformation’,” She told him. “But you and I both know you’ve struggled with doing the right thing in the past. So let me tell you something right now. You make one step backwards, one slip up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won’t have to worry about your destiny any more. Because I’ll make sure your destiny ends right then and there. PERMANENTLY.” And with that, she had stalked away, slamming the door behind her._

Shit, Zuko thought now. If he hadn’t been sure before, it was now very clear that she had meant it. Katara of the Southern Water Tribe, he realized, was one he was _very_ lucky to now have on his side.

•••  
That day was one Zuko often found himself replaying in his mind, even a month later. That was the day he’d realized how truly powerful, and truly dangerous Katara was. However, it was also, later, the day she had forgiven him. He remembered how she had looked at him, her blue eyes now filled with warmth instead of rage. He remembered how he had felt, realizing she was finally accepting him into their team. And he remembered how she had reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, and how he had stiffened in surprise before letting himself loosen into her hold and hug her back.

Zuko wasn’t used to being hugged, he thought, laying down one evening, staring up at the top of his rock tent (courtesy of their very own Toph Beifong). He told himself he didn’t like it, that he wasn’t emotional, but Katara was… different. Whether it was in a moment of excitement or melancholy, there had been a handful of times since that night that she had hugged him, and he never found himself resisting.

“Zuko! Come out!” came a call from outside the tent, pulling him from his thoughts. He pushed past the flap hanging over the front of the rock tent to see the rest of the group sitting around a campfire. Aang was holding a small flame under a piece of komodo-sausage on a stick, slowly roasting it. He looked focused, and Zuko noted how much Aang’s firebending had improved in only a month. He still had quite a bit to learn, but the kid was a quick and eager learner.

Zuko took his place on an empty log placed by the fire. As food was passed around, and various stories and jokes were shared, Zuko felt a newly familiar wave of happiness wash over him. He still sometimes found himself wondering if this was really his life. Not in a bad way, but in the way that he finally felt _free_. Free of his father, free of Azula, free of the life that had haunted him for so long. Sure, it wasn’t uncommon that he would wake from a nightmare, his heart racing and his head pounding. Zuko knew his old life wasn’t completely behind him, and maybe it never would be, but at least now he could pretend, even if only for a moment, that it was.

The six of them had all finished their food, (even Sokka, who had gone for seconds _and_ thirds) and they now sat quietly around the slightly smaller fire, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Hey, Zuko,” offered Aang after a few minutes of peaceful silence. He’d been looking at Zuko for a bit, seemingly deep in thought. “You totally don’t have to answer this but I’ve just been thinking... how did you get your… you know…” He gestured to his left eye.

Oh.

Immediately, the energy shifted, the silence going from comfortable to tense in an instant. Zuko froze, his breath catching. He forced down a hard swallow and looked up at the innocent boy staring back at him with wide eyes. “Oh- I’m sorry,” Aang stammered, but Zuko cut him off.

“No, it’s okay.” To be honest, he’d been expecting this, waiting for one of them to build up the courage to ask. Now, his five friends stared back at him, their expressions cautious but undoubtedly curious.

“I was thirteen,” He started. “I wasn’t supposed to be attending my father’s war meetings, but I convinced my uncle to let me into one. I was told I could watch and listen, as long as I didn’t speak. It was fine, until one of the generals proposed his plan to attack the earth kingdom. He wanted to send the entire division of newly recruited soldiers to fight some of the strongest earthbenders the kingdom had to offer. He knew they could never win. He only wanted to use them as a distraction while the more trained soldiers attacked from a different point.”

“But… that means they would die!” Aang interjected, his head tilted in confusion.

“I know,” Zuko said softly, meeting Aang’s steady gaze. “I was angry. I didn’t understand how he could do that to all these men who were so loyal to the fire nation, and I couldn’t help but speak out. It was too late before I remembered that I was under strict instruction not to say a word.”

It was Sokka who spoke out next. “Ok, little Zuko had a heart, fire nation guys are evil, but what does this have to do with the scar?” Katara shot her brother a pointed look. “You know, you are so impatient sometimes!” she whisper-yelled to him, before returning her gaze to Zuko, nodding for him to continue.

Zuko let his eyes slowly drop back to his feet. “My father was very angry that I had spoken out of turn. He said it was an act of disrespect, and as a punishment, I would have to fight an Agni Kai, a fire duel.”

“But-,” Sokka spluttered, only to be cut off by Katara's hand against his arm.

Zuko’s gaze remained steadily fixed on the ground beneath him. “I said yes,” he continued. “I wasn’t afraid to fight the old general. But I misunderstood. By speaking out in my fathers meeting, it was him who I had disrespected. He was my opponent in the Agni Kai.” His voice strained on the last sentence. Somewhere in the back of his mind, it occurred to him that he’d never actually told this story before. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I didn’t want to fight my father, I… I couldn’t do it. I begged him to forgive me, to give me another chance but… my father is not a merciful man. And well… I guess you can figure out what happened next.”

The threat of tears burned at the back of Zuko’s throat. He squeezed his hand into a fist, and dared to raise his head, which he immediately regretted after seeing five pairs of horrified eyes looking back at him. “What-,” was all he could get out before Aang burst into a fit.

“HOW COULD HE DO THAT?!” The boy cried out, jumping up from where he sat. “You were his son! You were just a kid! You- you were doing what was right and… how could he do that to his own son?!” As he spoke, a soft wind began to swirl around the group, gaining speed and fanning the flames of their campfire, causing it to steadily grow higher.

“Aang!”

The exclamation came from Katara, and it caused him to take a breath and let the wind and fire both die down. Aang then realized everyone had now stood up, and that Katara’s wide eyes were filled with tears. The eyes turned to Zuko, who stood a good few feet away from everyone, looking shocked and almost scared.

“I… I’m sorry,” he choked out, his voice sounding strangled. Before anyone could say anything, he had run off, slipping away into the surrounding trees.

“Zuko, wait! I-,” Aang started, before he too was silenced by Katara’s hand against his arm.

•••  
Zuko didn’t go far. He stopped at the first small clearing he wandered into, leaning his back against a tree and slowly sliding down so he sat with his knees tucked against his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. He was breathing hard, and his hands shook as he held them up in front of him. Zuko had spent so long pushing away those memories… he hadn’t realized what revisiting them would do. Now, they seemed as fresh in his mind as if it had happened yesterday.

_“You will learn respect,” spat Fire Lord Ozai, stepping closer to his son, hand held out in front of him. “And suffering will be your teacher.”_

_Zuko raised his head to see his father looming over him, a maniacal smile on his face. Tears spilled out and ran down his cheeks as he looked up at the fire lord with pleading, terrified eyes. Ozai reached out his hand, and for a moment Zuko thought everything would be alright. And then-_

“Zuko?” A soft, kind voice called out. He looked up, not even realizing that his face was wet and his good eye’s vision was slightly blurred by tears. “Are you okay?” Katara asked.

“I’m fine,” he said, turning away so she wouldn’t see him dry his face with his sleeve. “How did you…?”

Katara took a seat on the ground about a foot away from him. “Um… Toph and her… you know. She went back once I found you though. It’s just us.”

“Oh.”

Katara hesitated. “Zuko… it’s alright you know. If you’re not okay. I’m here for you.” She lay her hand on his shoulder, and he slowly turned to look into her eyes. Her wide, shockingly blue eyes.

Katara had beautiful eyes.

Woah, what? Zuko blinked and broke their eye contact. “I uh… thanks,” he muttered with an air of awkwardness. The silence only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity before he blurted out, “He banished me.”

Katara looked at him, slightly puzzled, and then he saw her face drop as she took in what he said. Zuko inhaled sharply. No going back now. “After he burned me, he said I was weak. I was an embarrassment. He sent me out to find the Avatar in order to regain my honor.”

Katara’s grip tightened on his shoulder, her eyebrows furrowing. “So that’s why you were so set on capturing Aang,” She worked out. He nodded silently, biting the inside of his cheeks in an attempt to dull the too-familiar stinging in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry Zuko,” Katara said, using her free hand to pull him into a hug. “You didn’t deserve that, any of it. Fire Lord Ozai is an evil man, and I promise you…” She pulled her arms back and set both her hands on his shoulders, looking Zuko in the eyes. When she spoke again, her voice was hard and cold, her eyes narrowed. “We _will_ stop him.”

Zuko wanted more than anything to believe her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh realized too late that this very much does not line up with the canon timeline but its ok. I’m going with they leave the western air temple cause of azula like in the show, and then they’re camping for like a month after southern raiders before moving to ember island and staying there a couple weeks until sozins comet. I know that really doesn’t make sense but shh don’t think about it too hard


	2. two

Two days later, everyone was still being oddly gentle towards Zuko. He hated it. Even Toph hadn’t made a single scar-related joke in the past forty eight hours, and Zuko desperately wished he hadn’t told them anything.

He sat by the edge of the river running through the forest, focused on the ball of fire he held in his hands. With each breath he took, the fire grew and then dimmed, over and over. Uncle had taught him this breathing exercise in their first weeks on the ship, when the pain was fresh and Zuko had found himself waking up screaming every night. Uncle, he thought, an ache running through his chest. He had no idea where Iroh was now, but he knew his uncle must be unbelievably angry at him. How couldn’t he be? Zuko had betrayed him. He’d turned his back on possibly the only person who had ever cared about him, ever loved him.

No, not angry, is what he imagined Iroh might say. Disappointed. Zuko didn’t know which one was worse.

God, he was an idiot. He’d been stupid and cruel and he was just so angry at himself and oh, _shit_ , the fire in his hands was growing very quickly.

Focusing his energy back into the flame, Zuko took a minute to breathe. He would see Uncle again, he promised himself, and he would do whatever it took to earn back his forgiveness. Right now however, he had to do everything he could to help Aang. The days until Sozin’s Comet were numbered, and he still had no idea what the avatar’s plan was. Zuko didn’t want to think about what would happen if they didn’t defeat Ozai by then. He was reminded of what Katara had told him the night he’d opened up, and he clenched his fist, extinguishing the fire in his palm. They would stop the fire lord. They had to.

Footsteps came from the woods behind him, and Zuko looked up to see Katara coming into the clearing, looking surprised to see him. “Oh, hi Zuko,” she said. “What are you doing here? I was gonna practice for a bit, but I can go back if you’re busy.”

“No, you’re fine,” he told her, quickly getting to his feet. “I’ll go, you probably wanna practice by yourself.” Katara watched him start to leave, and after a moment of hesitation, called after him. “Actually, wait! It’s been a while since I’ve sparred with anyone. We can train together, if you want.”

A grin crept across her face as he turned around, looking slightly puzzled but nodding. “You know, if I remember correctly, I still owe you a rematch from the North Pole.”

Zuko instantly turned red, remembering that night. “I uh… yeah… I’m sorry about that…” He mumbled, running a hand through his shaggy hair. The sound of her laughter brought his eyes back to her face, which was turned towards the river as she bent a tendril of water into the air, slowly snaking its way towards and around her.

“You know you don’t have to keep apologizing,” she told him lightly. Zuko shoved the toe of his shoe into the dirt. He’d apologized to all of them enough for a lifetime, probably ten lifetimes, but he knew it would never feel like enough. “Honestly though,” Katara said after a moment, a hint of amusement in her voice. “I don’t know _what_ you were thinking, challenging a waterbender to a fight in the North Pole, surrounded completely by snow, on a full moon too!”

Zuko let himself show a small grin as he chuckled. “I guess that was pretty stupid of- _oof_!” He was cut off by a lump of snow being launched smack into the middle of his face, with enough force to send him back a step. He wiped his face with his sleeve, and opened his eyes to see Katara holding back a laugh. “Oops,” she said with a grin, hiding her hands behind her back. Zuko stood there rather awkwardly, looking blankly at her. Katara brought a hand to her mouth in an attempt to hide her giggles. “I’m sure you learned your lesson. Now come on, we were gonna spar?”

Shaking the last of the snow out of his hair, Zuko nodded and took a fighting stance. He couldn’t help but be fascinated as Katara took a deep breath in, and reached towards the river. A focused stream of water floated up and made its way towards her, swirling and churning and settling into a large bubble about a foot away from Katara’s chest. Zuko inhaled as well, focusing on his inner fire and letting it course through him, the energy coming to his hands. He pushed out with his right arm, sending a blast of fire to her feet. Katara, of course, easily jumped out of the way, and returned his attack with a sharp lash of water coming for his chest.

Zuko darted to the right, narrowly avoiding getting hit. He sent a series of rapid fireballs towards her, and she ran to the side, meeting each flame with a bubble that resulted in many small wisps of steam rising from her trail. He tried to keep going, but on his sixth strike his fist was met with a splash that froze almost immediately on impact with his skin, encasing his hand in ice. It threw him off, and his next punch with his other hand met the same attack. He pushed his uncomfortably heavy hands out to his sides, feeling the heat flood from his fingertips and quickly melt the ice. The firebender spun around to where Katara now stood behind him, readying herself, and stepped into a lunge with one arm stretched out, palm wide open. A steady plume of fire shot towards her, and Katara shoved both hands forward in order to turn the bubble of water she held in front of her into a curved shield of ice. It melted quickly, but its temporary protection gave her enough time to slide out of the way to her right and pull new water from the river.

As he spun again to face her, Zuko had to notice how different fire and water bending were. Katara’s fighting style was all about being fast and nimble, and focused more on defense than offense. The way she moved almost resembled the water itself, with the way her arms waved and her movements flowed together. He would never admit it, but Zuko had been fascinated by waterbending since the very first time he saw it in person, in the south. Then, Katara had barely been able to make a small wave. Her improvement was incredible, and he honestly still wasn’t sure how she had advanced so quickly.

Now, he stopped mid-punch, realizing his opponent was no longer in front of him. Caught off guard, he froze for a fraction of a second, unable to see or hear her. It took him just a moment too long to remember to look to his left side, and a sharp jab struck him in the waist, knocking him off balance. It was followed by an enormous splash, which sent him to the ground spluttering.

Katara stood over him, looking rather proud of herself, although Zuko swore he saw something else (Curiosity, or was it concern?) flicker over her face for a split second. He dismissed the thought as she announced, “Looks like I win!”

He frowned as he held up his now sopping wet sleeves. “Yeah, you couldn’t have used like… a little less water though?” She smirked, and with a flick of her wrist the water in his clothes and hair rose up, which felt very weird, and headed for the river. She held out one hand to help him up, which Zuko ignored, getting to his feet on his own.

“Good match!” Katara said brightly. “Do you wanna go again?”

Zuko hesitated, a twinge of embarrassment surfacing. It really hadn’t taken her long to beat him. “Actually uh… I think I’m gonna head back,” he mumbled, straightening his messed up robe.

Katara shrugged; if she was at all offended she didn’t show it. “Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.”

She turned and walked back towards the river, shaking out her arms before taking a waterbending stance. Zuko took a few steps back, about to leave, but once again he found himself oddly entranced by the fluidity of her movements as she practiced her bending. He thought it was almost like she was dancing with the water, like it was a part of her instead of just a weapon.

He allowed himself to watch for just a minute before snapping out of it, and turning around to head through the woods, back to their little campsite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short sorry, next one will be longer and take place during sozin's comet.


	3. three

“...until _after_ the comet.”

Zuko couldn’t believe he’d heard her right. After? _After?_ No, no, no, _no_ , they couldn’t wait until after, that wasn’t an option, and god, suddenly everything clicked and he felt like the world's biggest idiot. He could feel the heat rising inside him, and as he took a deep breath he exhaled a tiny wisp of steam. Aang, Sokka, Katara, Toph, and Suki were all looking at him, their expressions confused and a little bit angry. A sinking sensation emerged in Zuko’s gut.

He took a deep breath and began to explain. His father wasn’t going to settle with just winning the war. No, Firelord Ozai had _much_ bigger plans. He was going to use the power of Sozin’s comet to demolish the entire Earth Kingdom and create an entirely new world where he would reign supreme. If Aang didn’t stop him by then… Zuko didn’t want to think about that. He had to stop him. Surely, he would be able to do it, he told himself. But the sinking feeling grew, and watching the group’s reaction to the news, Zuko felt like he might be sick.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your dad’s crazy plan sooner?!” Aang exclaimed, turning away from the group. Zuko threw up his hands in exasperation. “I didn’t think I had to!” he shot back. It wasn’t his fault that no one had decided to clue him in on this. Aang had crouched down, wrapping his arms around his knees, and through his anger Zuko couldn’t help but feel a little bad for the young avatar. He did sort of have, you know, the fate of the _entire world_ in his hands, and he was just a kid.

That part was what struck Zuko the hardest. Aang really was _just a kid_. All of them were. In no way should the responsibility of saving the world belong to a group of teenagers, and yet here they were. Zuko was the oldest out of all of them, and he was only sixteen. Toph and Aang were _twelve_. It was sick, he thought, that there were literal twelve year olds risking their lives to stop a war. But in reality, it was only a tiny fraction of the horror that his father had inflicted on the world.

“If we all fight the fire lord together, we got a shot at taking him down,” Toph was saying. Her voice sounded optimistic, and Aang looked at her with slightly more hopeful eyes. Zuko’s anger subsided. He _really_ wanted to believe her.

“Alright! Team avatar is back!” Sokka shouted. He stepped back, pointing at each of them in turn with their respective elements. “Air! Water! Earth! Fire!” He pulled Suki in towards him by her waist, and held up a long fern leaf. “Fan and sword!”

Aang stood now, a smile spreading over his face. “Fighting the fire lord is gonna be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do together… but I wouldn’t wanna do it any other way.” His words seemed to strike inspiration in the rest of the group, as they all went towards him and gathered into a group huddle. Zuko stood back warily as the rest of them laughed together, still unable to totally shake his sense of dismay.  
“Get over here Zuko!” Katara called out to him. “You know, being part of the group also means being part of group hugs.” He hesitated, but walked over to them, stumbling as Suki and Toph pulled him in between them. Slowly, very slowly, but still there, a sense of hope began to replace the sinking one in his stomach.

•••

The hopefulness didn’t last very long. Things finally starting to look up for team avatar? Obviously, they couldn’t have that. No, they were a day away from Sozin’s comet and Aang was _missing_. Aang, Avatar Aang. The only person in the entire world who stood a chance at stopping the fire lord had seemingly vanished off the face of the earth.

 _What the hell are we supposed to do now?_ Is what Zuko thought now, as he sat cross legged on the floor of his uncle's tent. He didn’t want to think about it, but unfortunately the only other option for his speeding train of thought was what was going to happen when Iroh woke up and saw him.

He felt sick. He knew for the most part what was coming; the old man would be mad. For the billionth time, Zuko thought of how much he hated himself for betraying the only person apart from his mother who had ever shown him kindness. More than that, ever shown him _love_. His uncle had stood by him when no one else would for three years. He gave up everything for Zuko, and he’d repaid him with betrayal. He knew that in no way did he deserve forgiveness, and yet he couldn’t stop the part of him wishing for it more than anything else.

He had been waiting a long time for this moment. He’d obviously been looking forward to it, but he was also completely, utterly terrified. The thought of his uncle hating him was too much to be able to control the tears welling in his eyes. His hand shook as he went to wipe his face, and his breath caught as he heard the old man stir.

He was awake. Zuko took one last deep breath before letting the words fall out. It was an apology he'd written and rewritten his mind infinite times, and now a jumble of different speeches mixed together into one big heap and all he could really clearly get out was just _I’m sorry._

Countless times, he’d envisioned this scenario. He’d imagined thousands of things his uncle might say, might do, but not one of them could have prepared him for the firm hand grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling him into an enormous hug.

Zuko barely noticed that his cheeks were soaked as he stiffened, before allowing himself to slump into Iroh’s embrace, his back rising and falling with each quiet sob.

“How can you forgive me so easily?” He choked out, some part of him distantly realizing that Iroh was crying too. “I thought you would be furious with me.”

“I was never angry with you,” said the familiar voice, and Zuko slightly shook his head, confused. How could he not be angry? “I was sad, because I was afraid you’d lost your way.” His hand rose to the back of Zuko’s head, holding him close.

“I did lose my way,” he admitted. He leaned back, looking into his uncle’s weathered face. The old man was smiling as he told him that he’d found it again, by himself this time. The sense of relief that swarmed his mind and covered every other thought was overwhelming. He really had ended up on the right path, hadn’t he? It had taken a while, and a _lot_ of bad decisions. But maybe, just maybe, Zuko thought, he would be able to help fix this world.

Through his relief, a familiar gut-wrenching sensation accompanied the end of that thought. That is, he realized, if they had a world left to fix.

•••

Something was wrong with Princess Azula.

Let’s rephrase that, Zuko thought. There were a _lot_ of things wrong with Princess Azula.

But now, as she stared him down with murder in her eyes, he knew something was different. His sister's hair hung across her face, her bangs cut sloppily as if in a fit of rage. Her normally tight, even updo was replaced with a sloppy excuse for a topknot that barely held up her royal hairpin. Her eyes were opened wide and her pupils seemed too small for them. The way she spoke and the way she moved… he wasn’t sure quite what the difference was, but everything about her seemed less smooth and neat than before.

“I’m sorry it has to end this way, brother,” she chuckled, shrugging off her cloak and taking a low bending stance.

No, she wasn’t. Of course she wasn’t. Azula expected to win this fight. She expected him to be weak. But in that moment, fueled by both his anger towards his family and the strength of Sozin’s comet burning through the sky above them, Zuko felt anything but weak. He could take her down. He had to.

He didn’t know how long they fought for. It could have been one minute, or just as easily been thirty. With every flame he threw, Zuko could _feel_ the power from the comet coursing through him and fueling his inner fire. Unfortunately, Azula drew the same strength. Both of their flames rose to a solid ten, fifteen, maybe more, feet above them. The fire moved almost like water; waves being parted, swirling, churning, and coming crashing down. Azula’s bright blue attacks clashed brilliantly against his orange. If he hadn't been about to die at any given moment, he almost would have thought it looked beautiful.

Adrenaline raced through every inch of his body, and Zuko whipped around to send an enormous burst of flame towards Azula. He could tell she was getting tired, and so was he, but he wouldn’t let himself slow down. She leapt to dodge it, but she was just a fraction of a second late, and that was all it took. He watched her lose her balance, and come tumbling to the ground.

“What, no lightning?!” he cried out. As he saw her scramble to her feet, he felt _powerful_. He knew Azula could tell.

By now, her hair had come completely undone. She stood in front of him, her shoulders heaving with each heavy breath. Her eyebrows were furrowed deeply, and her face was basically an animal-like snarl. “Oh, I’ll show you lightning!” his sister screamed, raising her arms.

Zuko readied himself, drawing in a careful breath. He had done this before, he could take it. All he had to do was redirect her lightning and take her out with her own attack. At that moment, he truly didn’t care that it might kill her.

What he wasn’t ready for was the new expression that suddenly crossed Azula’s enraged face, or the slight shift in her stance and change of the angle of her pointed arm. What was she doing? He could almost feel the gears hurriedly turning in his mind, and something click as he realized she was pointing at something just over his right shoulder and the only thing behind him was-

_Katara._

He could have sworn time slowed down.

Azula lunged forwards.

His body, out of his control, started running.

Someone (was it him?) screamed.

And then,

_Pain._

Time caught up again. Every inch of Zuko’s body screamed, and his limbs jerked and twitched without him telling them to do so. He gasped, trying to make his hand reach for his abdomen where he’d been struck.

He heard Katara scream his name and it was like every sound except her voice faded away. He forced himself to lift his head, his eyes meeting the scene. Azula was sending blast after blast of fire at Katara.

“I’d really rather let our family physician look after little Zuzu,” she yelled, and her voice sounded distant and muffled. Katara, he had to help her. He had to _protect her._ He raised one hand to reach for her, trying to force the pain away, but his body wouldn’t listen. His shaking arm fell to the ground and he rolled onto his stomach.

All he could do was lie there and he hated it. Each second felt like an eternity and he was trying to listen, figure out what was going on, but everything sounded weird and distorted and _off_. And then everything went quiet, and his mind screamed at his body to look but his body still _wouldn’t listen._

It felt like forever had passed before hands grabbed his shoulders, carefully rolling him over. Another wave of pain rushed through his body at the movement, but it didn’t matter because he’d opened his eyes to see that the hands belonged to Katara. She knelt beside him, and he felt the rough leather of her glove brush against his forehead as she pushed away his hair, looking at his pained face.

She looked so scared, he thought, as she hurriedly uncorked her water skin. Her eyes were wide open and he found himself staring into them.

Her hand pressed against his chest and his chin jerked up, his whole face tightening into a grimace, as it felt like he was being electrocuted all over again. Until suddenly, it didn’t, and although he still felt unbelievably weary, his chest didn’t feel as tight, he could take normal breaths again and a soft, cool sensation washed over him, subduing the pain.

He let out a long shaky breath and looked back into her incredibly blue eyes. He slowly pushed himself up onto his elbows as she watched him cautiously, her hand hovering by his arm. “Thank you, Katara…” he said, his voice trembling and even raspier than usual. To his surprise, tears welled in her eyes at his words.

“I’m the one who should be thanking you,” she whispered, her voice just barely audible. She smiled, her ocean colored eyes finally meeting his own. She placed her hand on his shoulder, and then, seeming to think better of it, gently pulled him forward into an embrace, supporting his still weak body. Her arms draped over his shoulders, and she rested her chin by his neck.

He froze for a moment. Zuko wasn’t a hugger but… he found he didn’t really mind this. Ever so slowly, he let his arms wrap around her too, allowing himself to lean into her. He heard a quiet sniffle by his ear, and held her just the slightest bit tighter.

Zuko didn’t know where his father was, or if Aang would be able to take him down. But in that moment, as Katara slowly let go of him and helped him to his feet, he somehow knew that things wouldn’t turn out too bad.


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: brief mention of homophobia

The war was over. 

It was  _ over.  _ It lasted a hundred years, and now it was just… over. Honestly, Zuko didn’t know how to feel. He was happy, obviously, but it felt strange. It was like, his entire life up until now had sort of revolved around the war. First, his father and his uncle being leaders and key parts of it. His uncle, the esteemed general. It was weird to imagine now. And then, his father being fire lord, and in charge of the whole thing. And finally, more recently, his quest to capture the Avatar to use him as a weapon. It was so odd to think that a mere eight months ago, his  _ purpose  _ in life had been to hunt down Aang. And now they were friends. 

The Avatar and the Fire Lord, closest of friends once again. That was another thing he was still getting used to, by the way.  _ Fire Lord Zuko _ . It was a title he’d whispered to himself countless times, but now it was real. He was the leader, the face of an entire nation. An entire nation who’d spent the last century on the wrong end of a war and hadn’t had a single good person as their leader for generations. No pressure!

At least, he reasoned with himself, he wasn’t completely alone. He knew Aang wanted to begin fixing the Fire Nation just as much as he did, and Katara, Sokka, and Toph had all told him countless times that they had his back. And of course, there was Mai. 

Zuko was happy when he was with Mai, he really was. He didn’t like to dwell on his childhood, as most people he associated with that time had brought him quite a bit of pain. But Mai, he could remember, had always been nice to him.  _ Far  _ nicer than Azula, and even though Ty Lee had never been cruel in the way his sister was, she had still been just a child at the time, and she did what Azula said. And what Azula said, more often than not, did not result in a happy Zuko.

Leaving her had been the most difficult part of his decision to help the Avatar. 

It was something he had to do, and they both knew that. However, in reflection, maybe just leaving her with nothing but a letter hadn’t been the best of ideas. He knew that he’d hurt her, and from what he’d heard from Ty Lee, it might have been more than she let on. 

He really did care about her though. It  _ was  _ hard to leave her, and he’d tried his best to make that very clear. It must have somehow worked, because here they were, after the war, two weeks after his coronation, together again. And it was right, Zuko told himself. He was right where he was supposed to be, with her. 

“Zuko.” Her low, scratchy voice broke through the comfortable silence he’d been enjoying. He looked down at her. “Hm?”

Her weight shifted away from his side as she abruptly sat up straighter, her eyes focused on her hands. “Can I… talk to you?”

He blinked at her, slowly, confused. “We are talking,” he said, not quite sure where she was going with this, although an odd, almost dreading sensation poked at his chest. 

Then her head turned, and he saw a flicker of  _ something  _ odd cross her ever-so-stoic face. 

He sat up too and reached out to place his hand on her shoulder. “Woah, hey, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer. She sat there for what must have only been a few seconds but felt like far longer before she blurted rather matter-of-factly, “We have to break up.”

The silence was back. Only this time, it was neither easy or comfortable, and Zuko just stared at Mai with wide eyes.

Surely, he thought.  _ Surely _ , he couldn’t possibly have heard her right. “I… um.  _ What, _ ” was all he could stammer before she looked up at him and he knew with a sinking feeling that he had, in fact, heard her perfectly clear.

His mouth opened to begin a protest, which was quickly cut off by the slap of her hand cupped over his lips. His eyes somehow managed to open even wider, and a muffled “ _ Hey, _ ” escaped through her fingers. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry. Just… let me talk. Please,” she added, and then slowly withdrew her hand, as if testing the waters. His eyes narrowed and his lips pursed, but his mouth stayed shut. 

Mai let out a curt breath and began. “I started dating you because I care about you, Zuko. And I  _ do _ , that hasn’t changed. I just… you know I’m not the most… emotional. I guess I thought, I’m a girl and you’re a boy, and I care about you, so that must mean I  _ like  _ you, right?”

She paused here, her fingers absently fidgeting with the fabric of her sleeve. She seemed careful with her words, as if each one had been meticulously chosen and rehearsed. 

“I thought I did, really,” she continued. “I told myself this must be what romance feels like. I didn’t really have anything to compare it to, so I guess I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like until…” She trailed off, sounding lost, like a stage actress who’d forgotten her lines. 

“Oh, what?” Zuko scoffed. “You fell for someone else?” That was a joke. Or at least it was supposed to be. Until he saw the way she tensed at his words, her hands freezing, and how she bit her lower lip. Oh, for  _ fuck’s sake _ . 

“Are you kidding me?!” He exclaimed, standing up from the couch. “There is someone else? Who could you- I’m the  _ fire lord! _ ” 

Ouch. He knew that was wrong before the words even finished leaving his mouth. Honestly, he didn’t really care. He was  _ pissed _ . He could feel the heat inside him rising, on the verge of threatening to burst out. 

Mai was glaring at him. She was standing now too, and they faced each other, both of their fists clenched at their sides. “Yeah, okay? There is,” she told him, her raspy voice wavering. “You caught me. Congrats.” 

The sarcasm lacing that last bit was enough to make Zuko have to consciously stop himself from letting his fists burst into flame. “I don’t understand,” he said sharply, using quite a bit of effort not to shout. “We grew up together. You said you loved me. We’ve both been through so much… you  _ saved my life!” _

So much for not shouting. 

Mai was staring daggers at him, and for a split second he was afraid she might pull out her real ones. Instead, she exploded back at him, all the calmness and preparedness from before gone. 

“I’m sorry, okay?!” she cried. Then, before she was able to stop herself, “I’m sorry I can’t make myself feel for you the way I feel about _ HER! _ ”

Oh.

Well. That was not what he expected to hear.

Zuko could feel the anger rush out of him like air from a popped balloon. Mai stood in front of him, looking nearly as surprised at her own words as he did. She was  _ scared _ , he realized, and Zuko remembered he came from a long line of men who were not quite so tolerant about these sorts of things. 

“That’s okay,” he said quickly, and then paused. “Well… a shock. But… you know.  _ That _ . Is okay… with me.” He blinked slowly, running a hand through his loose hair. Thankfully, she seemed to have somehow grasped what he meant. Her shoulders relaxed a bit, although her expression was still cautious. 

“I’m not mad,” he added, wanting to make sure that was clear. Perhaps it hadn’t been, because at those words Mai fully relaxed with a grateful nod. “Thank you, Zuko,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. A moment passed before she took his hands into her own and told him, “What I told Azula that day, at the prison, it wasn’t a lie.”

He had to think for a moment before recalling the story Ty Lee had told him, about how the two of them had turned against his sister. He looked down at their joined hands before letting his eyes meet hers. 

“I  _ do  _ love you, Zuko. It’s just not in the way you wanted me to, and it isn’t fair to either of us for me to keep pretending that it is.” Her golden eyes searched his face, trying to read his expression. He bit his lower lip, taking in her words.

“I… I understand,” He said softly, and she dropped her gaze. The initial shock was fading, and Zuko was surprised to admit he didn’t really feel much of anything. He was disappointed, obviously, but it definitely didn’t come close to heartbroken. Maybe he’d seen this coming, in the back of his mind. Maybe he’d known there was  _ something  _ in their relationship that had just never been quite there. Maybe he was almost the slightest bit relieved that they’d come to find themselves better off as-

“Friends, then?” Zuko asked, cutting off his own thought, and squeezing Mai’s hand. She smiled, and then after a moment of consideration, pulled him into a slightly awkward, but still comforting hug.

“Yeah,” she said. “Friends.”

And Zuko thought,  _ I can live with that _ .

(When he closed his eyes, he pretended to ignore the flash of a familiar pair of blue eyes looking back into his own.)

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annd we are into post-war!! thank you everyone for reading, and let me know what you think!! <3


End file.
